"We’re all a little weird and life's a little weird, but if we can find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

Its raining so heavy now..sitting here with my back against the window
i could feels the pounding..so violent indeed..i looked out to see
nothing remains in its original forms..all distorted..the strong winds pulling
things here and there..left and right..top and bottom..as if tearing
everything apart...reminiscent of events in real life
yes this is real my dear of what I'm hearing..its so loud and alive..
very much alive indeed

People nearby seek shelters wherever they could..escaping the thunderous
rain..but where will the little bird go for the wind is too strong
to fly against..for the branches of the tree are just too shaky to hold
onto..
one tiny body against a monstrous power..even the steely built of
determination would succumb..flatten on the ground and the rain will go
on..with its haunting wheezing sounds..as if in celebration of a game..
won without any fight..flatten there the bird will try to fly..only to
be thrown back onto the ground..harder still this time..the pain surged
within its tiny fragile frame..its wings collapsed

I hear the rains pounding again this time..louder than just now
..challenging the poor soul as if to come and stand amidst its strength
..i am there in heart and soul..i have been there all these times even
when no one sees..it ain't suppose to be anyone else sights..wont make
it to any cinema i am sure..for there is just one tiny being...me
against the turmoil within myself...with the jagged blades of life..
slicing and cutting every single moves i tries to make..all battered
and bloodied to the bones...

The little bird looks up the sky..asking why must this be?
Trying to be strong..the rocketing raindrops stopped him there and
then..the pain is so unbearable..can feels its bones being cracked and
broken up..knowing his time is so near to an end..a new beginning of
and end some say..choking back tears it attempts one final move..
a finale in the making..its tears never did see the world..the rain
zoomed into its eyes and splashed out both..filling its eye sockets
with rain..its head swells with the rain filling its skull violently..
tearing its head from its body..just one slow haunting twitch of
movement..
like a slow motion event..one last breath..it's final breath..
and he is gone..gone not to be missed by no one..
buried in an unnumbered grave the body lies..of where i can never
know..
what i know the little bird will be there as i wait at the end of the
rainbow..to hear how my flight in life goes when i whisper them all
through the wind..

little bird..little bird..if being alive had made you so miserable..
maybe in death you will find comfort and peace..for there i hope the
rain would be just a mellow thing..making your flight just a gliding..
for there i hope there would be what you seek all through your short
lifetime..
i don't know what is it..for i am same as you..seeking and not finding..
how could i find when not knowing what to find..ahhhhh it ain't fair to
me..nor to you little bird...
I'll hold you close in my heart..to remember that in you i sees myself..
we are of two different beings..but u have blood as red as
mine..breathing in the same air on this earth..you are gone now dear
little bird...fly the wind of eternity..i be there soon..someday..
when i am there..please fly to me...have a stop on my bloodied
shoulder..
for i am missing you so much now...
I wish we spent more time together but we didn't..for which i have all
the regrets in my life for missing that...

I must go now little bird...you always be here in the most sacred place
in my heart..i would make it your nesting castle..peace be with you little
bird..

You will be there when i hear the thunderous rain coming again..
You will be there when i look up the sunny sky of things in flights..
You will be there when there are tears in my eyes....
for all these are the stories of our lives...
for i am the little bird now...and i see the rain is coming ...............

PEOPLE WHO ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS HAVE 12 QUALITIES IN COMMON:

1. They have confidence in themselves.
2. They have a very strong sense of purpose.
3. They never have excuses for not doing something.
4. They always try their hardest for perfection.
5. They never consider the idea of failing.
6. They work extremely hard towards their goals.
7. They know who they are.
8. They understand their weaknesses as well as their strong points.
9. They can accept and benefit from criticism.
10. They know when to defend what they are doing.
11. They are creative.
12. They are not afraid to be a little different in finding innovative solutions
that will enable them to achieve their dreams.

The Big Lie

All of your life, you've been lied to.

You've been told what life is supposed to be about. Grow up, do well in school, make
friends, get a girlfriend or boyfriend, get a good job, get married, get a nice house and
have kids. Watch tv, pray to god, vote, find some hobbies to entertain you. Donate
money to charity. Go on vacation. Get old, retire, spend time with the grandkids. Look
back on your life with nostalgia, look forward to the afterlife of your choosing.

This is what you're supposed to do, this is what normal people do. This is what everyone
else is doing. Oh sure, there are a few aberrations here and there, sometimes some
people slip off this track, but you can get back on at any time.

Of course, when you actually look at the world around you, you may see something
entirely different.

See that young married couple living next door, with the wife gardening in the front yard
while the kids play out back? She's snowed under with Xanax all the time, without which
she'd be in a continuous state of anxiety. And her 6 year old son, he's following in mom's
footsteps already, taking his daily dose of Ritalin to keep him tranquil enough to sit still all
day at school.

She stopped sleeping with her husband several years ago, but that's ok, cause he
sneaks off a couple times a week and has sex with street prostitutes in the back seat of
his car, or a nearby motel. He feels a bit bad for them, and tips them extra.

His favorite prostitute is always glad to see him, because he's pleasant enough and an
easy $75. Too bad they can't all be like him. She gets beaten up and raped by Johns
multiple times a year, but that's ok, she can handle it, cause even at its worst this job is
still better than what she went through as a child. Besides, there's no other way she could
support her crack cocaine habit.

And the cop who tries to arrest her, last night he arrested the neighborhood marijuana
dealer, then went home and got nice and legally drunk on jack daniels.

And the cop's daughter, the pretty high school cheerleader, sneaks off and vomits after
every meal so she won't get fat.

But these are all small scale problems. Don't forget that, several times a century, often
enough to happen at least once during the average human lifetime, all the most powerful
nations of the world divide up into sides and begin slaughtering anyone they can find on
the opposing side by the millions. This is agreed by all to be unfortunate but necessary.

And the city you live in, if you're in a western country and living in a city, has already been
targetted by some country's nuclear weaponry. A few pushes of the right buttons, and
you'll be vaporized, or survive and live in some radioactive wasteland. But that's ok,
because it probably won't happen in the immediate future, so you might as well go out
and buy the week's groceries.

Beneath the thin veneer of civilization lies a howling madness, and the average normal
human being has the ability to commit genocide during the day, then come home and
tuck the kids in at night, or to ignore the pain of a billion people in misery while mowing
the lawn or doing festives shopping.

The Big Lie is that all of the problems of human life are separate. If you
compartmentalize them all, you can convince yourself that once you lose that 40 pounds,
or get more money, or get your husband to stop beating you, or finally kick that addiction,
you'll be a normal happy person like everyone else. And once you get the right politician
elected, or win the war, or convert the infidels to your religion, the world will be a happy
place.

The problems of life are all symptoms of the same cause. The locks on your doors
which you need to keep out burglars, the schoolyard bully, the serial killer, the drug
addict, the drug dealer, the billionaire who thinks he's being exploited by the poor, the
millions of soldiers fighting for peace, the enslavement or slaughter of entire races of
people, and your own unhappiness, all are interconnected. They are all part of one
problem.

I wish I could define the problem for you, or offer a solution. Human beings seem to
have a basic design flaw. We're a fucked up species, striving to be healthy and happy
while simultaneously destroying ourselves and each other in a million different ways.

The only positive note I can end this on is that it's better to understand all this than to be
ignorant of it, I think.

LIFE SUCKS

We're all trapped.

Each of us is stuck being who we are. Sometimes we fight to change ourselves, but
ultimately this has little effect. We can change what we do, but we cannot change who we
are.

If you're a happy person, you don't feel trapped. If you're surrounded by people who you
love and who love you, if you can do what you want to do in life, if you are at peace with
who you are, why would you ever feel trapped? You wouldn't want to change yourself, you
wouldn't need to try.

If you're a happy person, hey, you got lucky! Go back to the previous page, you'll find
nothing of interest here.

I am not a happy person. Maybe you're not either. Maybe you're too fat, or too thin, too old,
or too young. Maybe you're ugly and nobody wants to sleep with you. Maybe everyone
wants to sleep with you, but nobody loves you and it's all meaningless. Maybe your body is
fucked up and you're in pain all the time. Maybe your mind is fucked up and you're in pain
all the time.

So you struggle with all these problems year after year, and you're getting nowhere, and
you wonder if anything will ever change. And the unavoidable reality of it all is that, for you,
life sucks.

But of course you're not going to give up so easily, you're going to keep struggling to
solve your problems, to change yourself, to find happiness, wherever it is, whatever it is.
But still, life sucks.

And you see all these people out there who are blissfully free of your problems, and if they
can do it, there must be some way for you to as well. But they aren't doing you any good at
all, they don't understand what it's like being you, and what good would it do you if they did
understand?

So, the forces which created you, random or otherwise, have spoken. And they've
determined that, for you, life sucks.